


Growing Pains

by NameKeptSecret



Category: Naruto
Genre: Children, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Kakashi doesn't know what he's doing, Kakashi has a kid, Parent Hatake Kakashi, Team as Family, neither does anyone else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NameKeptSecret/pseuds/NameKeptSecret
Summary: A fling during a mission has long-term consequences for Kakashi; both good and bad. Now he must deal with his newfound emotions, the child she left behind, and the mystery of her disappearance.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	1. Home Again

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a working title, so it may change. Tags are also subsequent to change. Other relationships may be added later. Shoutout to CherFleur and all those on the Cher Shares Discord who helped me get the creative juices flowing, provided feedback, and helped edit. You guys are awesome.  
> Italics are thoughts, bold italics are Kakashi's report.

“I take it the mission went well, Kakashi?” the Third Hokage asked, appearing amicable despite the circumstances.

“The mission was successful. I obtained the intel you requested.”

“Good. Given the _sensitive_ nature of your assignment, I expect a full report to be handed to me directly by the end of the week. Unless there is anything that needs my immediate attention?” 

“No, Lord Hokage. There is nothing to report that wasn’t already suspected.”

“Very well. I’ll see you in two days then.”

Just as Kakashi turned to walk away, the Hokage called, “And Kakashi? I have a new team of genin for you. Tomorrow at 9am, Team 4 I believe.”

“Yes, Lord Third,” Kakashi sighed as he left the Hokage’s office. 

This would be the third team he had tested, and the third team that he failed, most likely. Kakashi wasn’t sure why the Hokage even bothered to keep assigning him genin teams. Clearly the Academy just wasn’t turning out quality ninja like they used to. Of course, it had been accused (wrongly so, in his opinion) that Kakashi intentionally failed his teams. That his standards were too high. In reality, the jounin who suggested such a thing had nearly gotten his genin team killed on their first C-rank. And none of them even qualified for the chunin exams. 

Kakashi’s high standards kept children alive, so he wasn’t about to lower them.

* * *

The next morning, Kakashi woke up just in time to be two hours late to meet his assigned genin. He made his usual trip to the Memorial. He traced each name with his fingertips. Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei and Kushina.

“I know I haven’t been by in some time. The mission ran longer than it was supposed to.” He said quietly, apologetically. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure why he spoke when he paid his visits to the Memorial, just that it felt right at times. He wasn’t even sure when it had started, these one-sided conversations with the dead. Grief counselors had tried to explain that the experience was likely cathartic, or born out of guilt for not being a good enough friend in life. Personally, Kakashi tried not to analyze it too much. 

“The mission was a success, but it could have gone better. I made a mess of things, but there was no other choice. I had to try. I had to try to save her.” He paused a moment before addressing Obito, or rather, his name etched into the stone. “You’d laugh at me now, if you could see the fool I made of myself over Hotaru. You would probably call me a hypocrite, too. But you were right all along; you can’t leave the people you care about to die.”

Rin’s name was just below Obito’s. Kakashi stared at it a moment. Rin brought up mixed feelings for him, she had loved him, and he loved her. Or he thought he had, until recently. He did love Rin, in a way, but Kakashi wasn’t so sure what manner of love it had been. Now that he’d had a glimpse of what romantic love could be, his views had shifted.

There was also the residual guilt, and anger over her death. Kakashi blamed himself, certainly; but in his darkest moments, he blamed Rin as well. When he was alone with his pain, his ghosts and demons, Kakashi asked himself how someone could make a loved one their killer.

Kakashi rarely spoke to Kushina or Minato-sensei. The guilt and grief were still too fresh. There were too many things he should have done differently, too many ways he _continued to_ fail them. He should have stayed closer the night of the attack, should have disobeyed orders and found them anyway. He should be helping their son; taking care of Naruto like they had him. Kakashi knew he was being selfish, holding onto his self-recriminations

* * *

When he finally made his way to the Academy, Kakashi knew he would fail this team. He stood outside the door long enough to overhear his would-be student’s conversation. 

“You’d better not screw this up for me, Botan.” One student hissed at another.

“You’re both useless, so shut up,.” the third muttered.

_Great. They hate each other. We’re off to a wonderful start,._ Kakashi thought dryly.

Just as Kakashi had suspected, they failed. Rei, the first student he’d overheard at the Academy threw Botan into the line of fire (dulled shuriken) to distract Kakashi and get a bell. The last brat, Jou just laughed.

“You all fail,.” He told them after tying them all to the posts. “Go back to the Academy.”

“You can’t do that! We passed the graduation exam!” Rei shouted.

“I can, and I am. At this point, you three are too immature to be ninja; even genin. You would only get your squad killed.” He explained. 

For her part, Botan looked thoughtful and a little sheepish. That one might actually make it after the next round of exams. 

He left the genin rejects tied to their posts, and stopped by a nearly empty bar to grab a drink before informing the Hokage he had failed another team. _What was Lord Third thinking, giving_ me _of all people an all female team?_ Kakashi wasn’t good with children, and he was even worse with girls. _He must think this is funny._

Kakashi stared into his drink, debating on how much he could safely tell the Hokage. He hadn't lied to his Hokage. The mission had been a success, but just barely. Kakashi had gotten distracted. He had nearly failed because of a pair of endless legs and soft curves. Hair the color of tree bark, storm-cloud eyes. The woman was beautiful, true. Yet it was more than just her beauty. 

She had been vibrant, fun, adventurous, kind-hearted. All things _he_ had long forgotten how to be. Kakashi almost failed the mission, his leader, and his village because of her. And it had been worth it. Worse, he'd do it again. A thousand times over if she asked it of him. In the four months he had been away, Kakashi had damn near lost his mind, and his heart to the woman. But she was gone now, and he had to return to life as it had been. 

He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to return to “normal” now, but one thing he _was_ sure of was that he should have dragged Hotaru back to the Leaf Village with him. She had been so afraid when he suggested she return with him. She wanted no part of the Leaf Village, but it would be better than what she had been enduring. With that thought, his decision was made. Kakashi would keep Hotaru to himself, at least for now. He needed to figure out why she hadn’t wanted to return with him. Kakashi wanted to go back and find her, but her reaction to the suggestion of coming to the village gave him pause. Either she had lied to him and was a threat to the village, or there was someone (or something) in the Leaf Village that terrified her. If he were the betting type, Kakashi would put his money on the latter. _I failed before. I couldn’t save Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, or Kushina. But I can save Hotaru. Even if it means never seeing her again._

“Lord Third, I came to inform you that Team Four failed their test. They need to be sent back to the Academy.” Kakashi said.

“What is your opinion of the three?” The Hokage asked.

“Jou and Rei show little promise. They may one day make genin, but they do not have what it takes to be a part of a successful team, let alone lead one. Botan is...immature and unsure of herself, but I believe that she will make a fine ninja, in time.”

“So, two for the Corps and one success in the making? Very well. You are dismissed.” The Hokage said as he puffed his pipe, only briefly taking his eyes away from his paperwork. 

Kakashi finished his report early that night, sighing as he read over the completed document. “Lord Third is not going to be happy,'' he said to himself, “but I suppose there’s no point in dwelling on that now.”

* * *

Hiruzen Sarutobi was indeed _not_ a happy man when he received Kakashi’s mission report the next morning. First, the report was written in an old code only The Fourth had used. He was forced to dig through his successor’s old notes to decipher the code. When he was finally able to read the thing, it was not what he had hoped for. 

**_Upon arriving in The Village Hidden in the Clouds, I staked out the target’s location, this process took approximately two weeks. The target remained unaware, but the same cannot be said for the target’s students and the relative. The target was found to be living near the Raikage’s manor, therefore I had no choice but to stay in an inn within view of the manor. Due to the suspicions of the target’s friends and relative, I was forced into inactivity for a week. In week five of the mission, I was able to observe the target alone. The target was seen harnessing the power of the eight tailed beast both in part and in full. Our previous suspicions were confirmed. The target was monitored for several weeks to determine his threat level. The target holds enough power to be a threat, but does not appear to be malicious or to hold ill intent for the Leaf Village. No action is required other than further monitoring._ **

**_Finally, on the return journey, I ran into trouble with a troupe of bandits. The bandits were dispatched, but they had a rogue ninja accompanying them, leading to a slight injury delaying my return._ **

This was certainly unsettling news. While he had suspected the jinchuuriki of the Eight Tails may have gained some control of the beast, full control was unexpected. Hiruzen also disagreed with Kakashi’s assessment that he posed no immediate threat. He would need to take precautions to assure that the old Raikage didn’t get it into his head to attack the Leaf Village. Something about Kakashi’s report was odd. He had been strangely vague at times. No bandits, even with the help of a rogue ninja should have been able to injure Kakashi enough to slow him down. Kakashi was one of his most trusted ninja, had been for years. It was for that reason alone that Hiruzen decided not to interrogate him on the matter, but he would be watching. Hiruzen Sarutobi wasn’t the longest lived Hokage for nothing. He hadn’t made it this long by being placid, despite what many thought of him. Hiruzen survived by being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: Kakashi's guilt complex and Naruto's mistreatment by the village. Oh, and exposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter isn't beta read, since I felt like I made you guys wait long enough. Let me know what you think, and if you find any errors. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Also, I know this one's a bit slow, but I'm establishing the character's personalities a bit.

Since failing team four, Kakashi had been sent out on a series of boring A and B rank missions. While this would be mostly standard for the typical jounin, Kakashi was hardly normal. A rank he could understand, it was peace-time and he wasn’t in ANBU any longer. But B rank? It was embarrassing. Kakashi was a tried and true ninja; a soldier. Raised and trained in war, he’d killed before he even entered puberty. There hadn’t been time to shelter young genin, so they’d been assigned a capable jounin sensei and thrown onto the battlefield as soon as possible. Was it fair? No. Was it right? Of course not. But nothing about war was fair or right. He sighed in exasperation as he entered the village gates.  _ I just want a shower and a drink. _ Kakashi thought.

He went home for a shower, only to find his hot water had been shut off.  _ Ahh, I must have forgot to pay the bill. _ He debated going to one of the public bathhouses, but decided a cold shower would have to do. It was nothing new, after all. Showered and dressed, Kakashi poured himself a drink from his own stash, rather than going to a bar. He had no desire to socialize.

* * *

  
  


Kakashi exited the grocery store to find the place thoroughly destroyed. The entire storefront had been vandalized. What appeared to be the shopkeepers face covered nearly the entire wall left of the window. There seemed to be....snot and boogers running down his face and “wimp” painted on the forehead. To the right of the window, the storefront was tagged with words like “loser”, “jerk” “booger eater”, and a series of profanities that Kakashi himself wouldn’t use. Not in public, at least. He’d developed an aversion to blatant swearing since that time Kushina held himself and Obito down to wash their mouths with soap after an argument. It’d been disgusting and embarrassing. Of course, she probably wouldn’t have been so harsh if Kakashi hadn’t called her a hypocrite.

Kakashi thought briefly that perhaps he should try to apprehend the culprit and haul them into the Hokage’s office. As a jonin of the Leaf Village it was his job to aid the citizens.

“Naruto! Come back here!” Kakashi watched as the boy ran cackling, chased by his chunin sensei.  _ The only worse job than jonin sensei would be chunin sensei. Iruka Umino is a saint.  _ That certainly explained the graffiti, and he no longer felt the need to help the store owner. Kakashi had watched the boy, and he rarely pranked people who hadn’t done something to deserve it.

“Damn brat is a menace.” Kakashi turned and noticed the shop owner staring after Naruto. “What Lord Third was thinking letting him stay in the village, I’ll never understand.”

“Hmm well now, what makes you say that?” Kakashi pretended to take the man’s words under serious consideration. 

“He could lose control and destroy this entire village. No one is safe.” Tokiyah was an angry man. He’d lost his leg in the war and his daughter in the Kyuubi attack. She’d been five, and the former ninja was likely more angry that Naruto got the chance to grow into adulthood whereas his little girl did not.

Kakashi felt little sympathy for grown men who picked on children. “Age and loss has turned you into a fool and a coward. Do not speak of S-class secrets again, Tokiyah.” The other man had paled considerably. “I’ll keep this between us, unless you continue to mistreat children. Understood?”

“Understood” Tokiyah replied tersely

Kakashi decided to check in on the boy the next day while he was in the Academy. As he’d expected, Naruto’s kitchen was nearly empty. Expired milk, stale cereal, and instant ramen. Not nearly enough to feed a growing boy, let alone a ninja in training.  _ No wonder the kid’s so small. _ He thought before an idea occurred to him. Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to interact with Naruto, but maybe he could at least make sure his sensei’s son had food. 

An hour and a half later, Kakashi dropped off the last bag of unopened food he’d bought from Tokiyah’s store. He hadn’t had time to do more shopping, and giving the boy food from a store he had been turned away from felt like vindication. Later, Kakashi would just have to do his own shopping at the market down the street. They were slightly more expensive, but he didn’t want to give any more of his money to Tokiyah. After buying more groceries, Kakashi had time to spare so he settled into the tree nearest Naruto’s apartment and waited to see his reaction to the food.

* * *

Naruto got home that evening tired, but content and full. The good thing about Iruka-sensei catching him after his pranks was that he almost always bought him food after he cleaned up the mess he’d made. Even if they couldn’t go out to eat, Iruka-sensei brought snacks and hung out with him while they ate. The food was nice, especially when Naruto was out of grocery money, but the company was the best. Before crashing for the night, Naruto searched through his fridge for something to drink. It was then that he noticed the difference. There was food, and a lot of it. None of the food was expired, either. Naruto liked to think of himself as a master at sneaking and pranking, so he was surprised and suspicious. No one just brought him groceries, not even old-man Hokage or Iruka-sensei. He sniffed the food for poison, but found nothing.  _ Maybe the old man knew I was outta food, and had somebody bring me some. _ He guessed, deciding that it was as good of an explanation as he was going to get. The Hokage was busy, and could be distant or harsh at times, but he cared. Old-man Hokage cared about him, Naruto just knew he did.

Kakashi watched Naruto with a mixture of sadness and anger. The boy was clearly suspicious of the food, and in a way it made sense. He’d be suspicious, himself. The difference was, Naruto was a kid. A ninja in training, but still a child. Children should be able to expect to be taken care of. As his anger dulled, Kakashi reasoned that there was only so much that could be done. Given Naruto’s status, allowing a member of any of the village’s clans to adopt him would have been seen as favoritism. And, the Hokage could only do so much. The Leaf Village was certainly one of the kinder villages, especially towards children, particularly orphans. However, in a village full of ninja, orphans were all-too common. Kakashi tried to silence the voice that told him those were all excuses, that Naruto could have gone to a clanless ninja, that Jiraiya or Tsunade could have been called home to help care for him, if only part time. The occasional visit and letter would have made a world of difference.  _ I could have been there. No, I should have been there. _ Obito or Rin would have done it. Would have said damn the consequences or implications and taken care of sensei and Kushina’s son.  _ Worse than scum, indeed. _


End file.
